The Emperor Personally Joins

　　"That is a horrendous plan! You want me to work with the League of a.s.sa.s.sins?! Are you listening to yourself?!" fumed the Emperor, glaring at me.

　　"You can use another name! Your surname is Li, and your dharma name is Yuansheng, correct? Here, I will come up with a name for you. Um… how does Li Fangzhang sound?"

　　"Tell Li Fangzhang to b.u.g.g.e.r off!!" The Emperor was so close to flipping the table over. He added, "Also, it's my reign t.i.tle. Not my dharama name! Only monks have dharma names!"

　　Prime Minister Li: "Your Majesty, deep breaths, deep breaths."

　　"My goodness gracious, Amitabha. In short…" The Emperor took a few deep breaths before carrying on: "Since you are all here, we need to discuss the details. For instance, how will we surround them in a forest on the mountain, how will we capture them in one fell sw-."

　　"Hehe, Your Majesty, set the forest ablaze!" I recommended.

　　His Majesty: "Get lost! Find somewhere I can't see you and lost get! Ah, I'm so exasperated I can't even speak properly!"

　　The Emperor was seriously angry. I mean, he went at me straight in my face. After he was done raging, he muttered under his breath, "How come everyone from Mount Daluo is a clown? Are they an orthodox sect or a den of bandits and rogues…?"

　　I was very, extremely, incredibly displeased. I thought, "Abbot Li, you really are annoyed, huh? Aren't I giving you the blueprint to defeat Abels? Go on; ask your other subjects. See if they can come up with a superior plan. I'll wait."

　　Looking troubled in many ways, the Emperor asked, "Ming Feizhen, where did you learn all those ideas from?"

　　With his eyes narrowed and in a strange tone, Long Zaitian uttered, "I wonder if he knows the way bandits work so well because he was once a bandit."

　　I coughed: "Uh, um, I learnt a few tweaked strategies for handling cases from Vice-Captain."

　　Long Zaitian: “Hmph, if you call those tweaked strategies, what do you call people, like us, who don’t know about those tweaked strategies?”

　　I gave Long Zaitian a condescending glance: "Idiots."

　　Long Zaitian brayed, “Heh! Still spouting so much hogwash in His Majesty’s presence, is you want to fight me?!”

　　'Okay, you itchy, are you?! Someone bring me a bread roll. I'll destroy you even if I only have a string of noodle!'

　　The Emperor slammed his gavel and raged, "Enough, enough, I'm getting a headache just listening to you. I called you here, where it's nice and quiet, so that you could all discuss this with a calm frame of mine. The next person to make a scene will fight me!"

　　The Emperor looked stern and firm as a warrior from the pugilistic world. Once we quietened down, he calmly said, "This is more serious than you might imagine. This isn't only about my pride or the imperial court's reputation. Yiren is a daughter to me. She is the only descendant of Shen Clan. Should any misfortune befall her, I wouldn't be able to face Brother Shen on the other side. Just as importantly, Evil Spirits must have a bigger agenda here in the Central Plain. We can't be careless."