Barking Up the Wrong Tree – Who You Calling His Darling?!

　　Rubbing my face, I whinged, "That was mean… How can you just slap me in public…?"

　　"What sort of question is that?! It's your fault for letting your mouth run loose! I thought you fixed your bad habits, but you're still a d.a.m.n jerk!"

　　Bai Lian's arms shook as she scolded me all the way from Dongpo Restaurant to Feiyun Hall. As so many people looked at us when we bickered, Bai Lian had to follow me. She lambasted me, only taking breaks to take in oxygen.

　　"You already have Su Xiao, yet you're still going after other men. As if picking on distasteful men wasn't enough, y-you even tease me! Do you have a death wish?!"

　　"Whoa, whoa! There's a big misunderstanding in there! I admit to being wrong when I threatened to force a kiss on you; however, that's due to our history! It's not my fault our first meeting wasn't a pure scene! Who you saying likes men and eunuchs! I married a Princess (lie), practiced dual cultivation with my s.h.i.+yi (another lie) and picked up countless girls after descending Mount Daluo (complete bulls.h.i.+t). I'm a real man through and through!"

　　"Oh? List the seven names you met before you met me."

　　"List the names? You asked for it: Prime Minister Li, Yan Bei, Su Xiao, Tang Ye, His Majesty, Secretary Zhang, Secretary Leng…"

　　I realised, "s.h.i.+t me, they really were all men and Su Xiao… Why do I feel defeated? How far have I deviated onto the path of decadence from my original journey to marry a gorgeous wife and lead a nice life?"

　　"By the way, where is Feiyun Hall? Why are we still not there?"

　　"Obviously," replied Bai Lian, keeping her distance from me. "Feiyun Hall is at Wuhua County. It's under Najing's jurisdiction, but it takes, at least, one day on foot to reach it once we're out of the capital. I did say I didn't want to go with you…"

　　'Wow, that's far. Wait a second. So… your original plan was to make me run all the way there, while you kick back and wait for me to come back with a report?! Oh, man, did I underestimate you! You learnt all the cunning tricks while in the imperial palace, huh?!'

　　"Long-story short, we can't just walk there; it'll be night time by the time we arrive. We should prepare for the long journey."

　　Due to the long distance, the two of us prepared gear for two days and one night. We went to buy a set of clothes at the variety store and bought some dried food. The store was quite big. They really did have a variety of things for decent prices.

　　Truth be told, I didn't need to waste money buying clothes. Firstly, I could just jump into any lake to wash my clothes then use my internal energy to dry it (necessary skill for broke wanderers). Secondly, I was broke (absolutely broke)… I would've put up with it if someone resembling Eunuch w.a.n.g or Eunuch Sui, but General Manager Bai's body and fragrance, I couldn't bear to let her eat shoddy food, not have clothes or places to take baths. In the end, I bought her a set of clothes.

　　General Manager Bai reacted jolly as soon as she entered the store, giving the impression she never went out. She asked, "Ming Feizhen, Ming Feizhen, what's this?"

　　With an absentminded att.i.tude, I replied, "It's a lantern. We're in the New Year period; I bet they sell that stuff everywhere nowadays."

　　"They haven't painted dragons and phoenixes on it. Plus, it's made using paper. You call this a lantern?"

　　"Why does your comment sound the same as those n.o.bles proving they're high cla.s.s, saying, 'Oh, I didn't know pork was also meat'? Look, I know you use silk in the imperial palace, but the citizens use paper, okay?! It's quick, budget friendly and doesn't look any worse than the ones in the imperial palace!"