That's Because You're Stupid

　　Shen Yiren set us straight: "Alright, stop picking on them. You're older than them, and yet you're the one that's least reliable. All three of you are ranked. Tang Ye is ranked two-hundred and twentieth, Su Xiao is ranked two-hundred and fortieth, and you're ranked four hundredth. Reflect on yourself, alright?"

　　"Wait a second!"

　　I don't want to be ranked, but since I'm ranked, they need to rank me appropriately.

　　"Why are Su Xiao and Tang Ye ranked so high? Wasn't I the one that solved the case? Why are they the ones getting the credit?"

　　"If you're looking at the big picture, then you're right." Shen Yiren wore a helpless expression and continued: "But once I recounted everything you did, Sir Sui felt that you didn't actually do anything incredible. As a matter of fact, you were ranked thanks to them."

　　What?

　　3, 2, 1 thinks otherwise?

　　"I don't accept this! I want a proper explanation!"

　　"First, Su Xiao was the one that stopped the fight between the Qilin Guards and the Orange Prince's men, right?"

　　"…Y-yeah."

　　She wouldn't believe me if I told her I took down all six of them, right?

　　"Right. And the one who took down the grave robbers was Tang Ye, right?"

　　"Yeah."

　　"And when Jia Yunfeng snuck attack us when the Orange Prince came looking for trouble, Su Xiao was the one who stopped the Orange Prince, while Tang Ye stopped Jia Yunfeng, right? All you did was take the book from the tomb. Heck, you even got poisoned and then ended up throwing it wherever. In fact, you nearly put it into the Orange Prince's hands, right?"

　　"Yes."

　　"So your ranking is justified."

　　Son of a b.i.t.c.h!!!

　　What sort of f.u.c.king logic is this?!!

　　Boss Shen ignored me. It was rare, but she was gentle for once. She said: "You guys have worked hard. That was a very important step. If you can't even make the underground ranks, you won't get selected to compete in the imperial martial arts tournament. I'm very happy that you three have achieved this feat in less than half-a-month of joining. I'll give you guys half-a-day off work today, go and have fun."

　　Su Xiao who was sixteen was still at the playful age. He happily grabbed my arm and said: "Brother Ming, Brother Ming, where are we going to go?"

　　Me: "Eight Deities Tavern! Dong Po Restaurant! Choose one!"

　　Su Xiao: "Ugh! I don't want to eat braised pork shoulders with soy sauce."

　　You finally said it! You're a stupid, tasteless, uncultured idiot who doesn't understand the intricacies, culture and beauty of braised pork shoulders in soy sauce!