Book 3 Chapter 31 – Picking a Side

　　Seeing Liu Meng's eyes was just like receiving a hammer blow to the head. Li Yiming felt the world around him spin once again, only this time, alcohol was not at fault. Rather, it was the result of a swirling vortex of emotions and thoughts. 'I confessed to Ji Xiaoqin the day after because I thought I should take on the responsibility for my mistake. But if it was actually Liu Meng… How badly I must have hurt her.

　　'She cut her hair. Was she only seeking a change in style, or was she looking for a change of heart as well? Why did she keep me company for all these years? Was it as a friend, or as a good 'bro'?' The conjectures, guesses, questions came cras.h.i.+ng down and Li Yiming felt suffocated under the overwhelming weight of it all.

　　The color in Li Yiming's world receded, leaving only two things still warmed by colors amidst the greyness. One was Ji Xiaoqin's supple and warm body, still in his arms, her heart beating at a steady pace, and the other one was Liu Meng, who stayed still as a statue. Looking into her eyes was just like staring into an abyss of despair.

　　"I, I think I made a mistake," Li Yiming pushed Ji Xiaoqin away from him and said in a low voice.

　　"What?" Ji Xiaoqin, who smiled like a flower in full blossom bathing in the sunlight of happiness., turned her head shyly toward Li Yiming.

　　"Where were you last night?" Li Yiming remembered seeing Ji Xiaoqin's phone on the nightstand when he woke up in the morning, and after hearing from a cla.s.smate that it was Ji Xiaoqin who brought him to his room the night before, he a.s.sumed that the one with whom he had consumed his pa.s.sion was also Ji Xiaoqin. However, this time, unlike in his memory, he still had enough judgment to remember what he heard during that crazy night.

　　"I went back to my room after bringing you to yours, what is it?" Ji Xiaoqin was surprised by the question.

　　"It… wasn't you last night?" Li Yiming hesitated.

　　"What?" Ji Xiaoqin reacted just as he had expected.

　　"Sorry, I think I made a mistake." Li Yiming pushed Ji Xiaoqin further away from himself. 'How could I not have asked her. How could I?'

　　"Yiming, what are you talking about?" Ji Xiaoqin noticed the oddity in Li Yiming's expression. Seeing him like that gave her a terrible feeling about what was about to come.

　　"Sorry." Li Yiming turned around and looked at Liu Meng. A smile still clung to the lips of the latter, but there was an incredible sadness hidden beneath it.

　　Li Yiming walked closer and closer to Liu Meng. Dragging both of his legs toward her became an incredibly difficult task, and, with each step, Li Yiming's heart trembled. As the two drew closer and closer, Li Yiming could see Liu Meng's radiant smile more and more in full details. But the happier she seemed, the more sorrowful Li Yiming became. He stopped as he remembered the streak of scarlet he found the next day on the bed sheet; there was barely a meter left, but to take that last step was harder than to travel through the entire world.

　　"Congratulations!" What came out of her mouth was a blessing for bliss, but a droplet of tear was seeping out of the corners of her eyes. The tip of her nose had turned red, and her knuckles whitened from the strength with which she clasped her hands.

　　'She hid that secret and after liking me secretly for that long. She's the one who gave me a place to stay when I was exhausted. She's the one who faced me with a smile and wept her pain and sorrow alone. You're brave and you sacrificed yourself for the sake of love, but have you given a thought about who's going to mend you? Who is going to heal the wounds in your heart and protect you?'

　　"I'm so sorry!" Li Yiming pulled Liu Meng and locked his arms tightly around her, as if he wanted to print her being into his very soul. It was the same "sorry" he said to Ji Xaoqin, except that one was an apology, whereas this one was nothing but bitter regret.

　　"Yiming, you…" Liu Meng's body stiffened. She raised her hand, unsure of what to do.

　　Li Yiming held Liu Meng's face right in front of his own, and, after a deep stare, he kissed her. He could feel the softness of her tongue, the familiar wetness between her lips, but also a bitterness that was not present the night before.